There are people who believe that “the heart never breaks.” They encourage others with words like, “No matter the hardship, your spirit will never break,” or “With strong willpower, you can overcome anything.” However, for someone like me, who has truly experienced a broken heart, such words feel overly optimistic, if not outright naive.

Encouragement itself is not a bad thing. In fact, the intent behind it is often kind and well-meaning. But when people speak as if “the heart never breaks” is an absolute truth, I cannot help but feel a sense of disconnect. The reality is that hearts do break. No matter how much one tries, no matter how much effort is put in, there are times when a person’s heart simply cannot withstand the burden. That is an undeniable fact.

The Moment My Heart Broke

The moment my heart truly broke was when I realized that, even after ten years of relentless rehabilitation, I was not recovering. I had believed that if I worked hard enough at rehabilitation, I would regain my old life. But reality was far harsher. No matter how much effort I put in, no matter how positively I tried to push forward, I could not return to the way I once was. In fact, I came to understand that even maintaining my current state was difficult. When this truth set in, my heart completely shattered.

Hearing words like, “If you keep trying, things will get better,” or “Stay hopeful and it will be okay” no longer resonated with me. It wasn’t because I lacked hope—it was because I had hoped, I had fought, and I had realized that effort alone was not always enough. This is why I simply cannot relate to people who claim, “The heart never breaks.”

What I Learned from a Broken Heart

A broken heart is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, breaking can reveal certain truths that would have remained hidden otherwise. When my heart broke, I learned that I didn’t have to force myself to always look forward, nor did I have to struggle to overcome everything. A broken heart is proof that a person has truly reached their limit and given their all.

Moreover, experiencing a broken heart allowed me to better empathize with the pain of others. In the past, I believed that “if you just work hard enough, you can overcome anything.” But now, I cannot say such things lightly. That’s because I now understand that no matter how hard one tries, some things are simply beyond our control.

People who believe “the heart never breaks” have likely never experienced true heartbreak themselves. Or perhaps they have, but they are unknowingly forcing themselves to push through, relying solely on sheer willpower. That is their way of living, and I do not intend to deny them that. However, as someone who has actually had their heart broken, I find it impossible to fully connect with their perspective.

Accepting That the Heart Breaks

Rather than denying that the heart can break, I believe true strength lies in accepting that it does. It is natural to feel like giving up when your heart is shattered. The important thing is what happens afterward.

You don’t have to force yourself to think, “It’s fine, I’m okay.” Instead, acknowledge your pain. Take a break if you need to. Reach out for help if necessary. The process of healing and gradually finding your way forward in your own time—that is what true recovery looks like.

People who say “the heart never breaks” may believe that admitting to heartbreak is a sign of weakness. But I disagree. I believe that those who have experienced true heartbreak and still find a way to move forward, even in the smallest ways, are the strongest of all.

Through my own experiences, I want to tell others, “It’s okay for your heart to break.” You don’t have to force yourself to be positive all the time. And most importantly, if you have ever felt broken, know that you are not weak. You are stronger than you think.