We all have countless choices in life. Ideally, we should be able to make decisions that reflect our true desires. However, in reality, many of us unconsciously choose to live based on external expectations — what I call the “other’s axis.” This refers to living in a way that aligns with others’ expectations or society’s norms, often at the expense of our own dreams and values.

From a young age, many of us are taught to “avoid bothering others” or to “fit in with everyone else.” These messages come from family, friends, and society. In response, we often suppress our true desires and dreams, focusing instead on meeting the expectations of those around us.

In Japan, this tendency is especially strong. The culture emphasizes group harmony in school, work, and society, which leaves little room for individual freedom or personal desires. As adults, many of us feel the pressure to conform to the norms of the workplace, where “stability” and “success” are often defined by societal standards rather than personal fulfillment.

What Happens When You Live by External Expectations?
Living according to external expectations may bring some initial comfort, as you feel accepted by others and avoid conflict. However, this comes at a significant cost — ignoring your inner voice. Over time, you may start to wonder, “What am I really living for?” This can lead to a deep sense of loss and emptiness.

For example, you might choose a stable career path or make life decisions based on what your parents or society expect. From the outside, it may appear that you are successful, but inside, you may feel unfulfilled or question whether this is the life you truly wanted.

I personally experienced this. For years, I lived to meet the expectations of others, suppressing my true self in the process. Eventually, I realized that I had almost lost sight of who I really was.

Reclaiming Your Authentic Self: The Parallel Life
To escape the “other’s axis” and find my true self, I discovered the concept of a “parallel life.” A parallel life is one where you pursue multiple roles, hobbies, and careers simultaneously, rather than being confined to a single path.

Instead of dedicating your entire life to one career, you embrace the idea of having multiple pursuits that allow you to express different sides of yourself. For example, while I continue to work in my main profession, I also run this blog, where I share my thoughts and connect with readers like you. This blog has become a space where I can express my true self, free from external expectations.

Practicing a parallel life has been incredibly freeing for me. By choosing a path that aligns with my inner voice, I’ve found a deep sense of fulfillment and purpose that I never experienced when I was living according to others’ expectations.

How to Reclaim Your Authentic Self
So how can you break free from external expectations and live authentically? Here are a few steps that may help you take that first step toward a life aligned with your true self:

Listen to Your Inner Voice
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, take time to pause and listen to what your heart truly wants. This isn’t easy, especially if you’ve been living according to external expectations for a long time. But the more you tune in to your inner desires, the clearer your path will become.

Start with Small Choices
Making a big life change can be overwhelming. Instead, start small. Begin by making choices in your daily life that reflect your true desires. Whether it’s how you spend your free time or pursuing a hobby, these small steps will help strengthen your “self-axis.”

Don’t Worry Too Much About What Others Think
It’s natural to care about others’ opinions, but it’s important not to let them dictate your life. Reflect on how much weight you give to others’ expectations versus your own happiness. The more you live by your own standards, the more liberated you will feel.

Believe in Your Own Potential
Living a parallel life requires confidence in your own potential. By embracing multiple roles and pursuits, you free yourself from the limiting belief that “life must be one way.” Trust that you can explore different paths and live in a way that honors your unique self.

Sharing Your Authentic Life Journey
If you’ve been living according to external expectations and feel stuck, I hope this article encourages you to start listening to your inner voice. Remember that you have the power to live a life that reflects your true desires.

Writing this blog has been one of the ways I’ve reclaimed my self-axis. It’s an expression of my true self and the result of choosing to live authentically. I hope this post inspires you to take that first step toward a life where you are in charge.

If you resonate with this message, please share it with others. Together, we can inspire more people to live life on their own terms!

It’s never too late to reclaim your life. Start now and walk the path that feels right to you. Let’s embark on this journey to live more authentically!