For thirty years, I lived as an able-bodied person. Then, for the past eleven years, I have lived as a person with disabilities. In this journey, I have experienced both the world of the “able-bodied” and the world of the “disabled.” The changes I encountered were stark and, at times, deeply painful. What I used to take for granted changed the moment I became disabled. Experiencing society’s “normal” through a different lens has made me acutely aware of just how distorted our world can be. Living honestly with myself has proven to be more challenging than I ever expected.

When I was able-bodied, I believed it was normal to work hard, meet others’ expectations, and hide my exhaustion. I would push through fatigue and stress, maintaining a smile because that was what was expected of me as a functioning member of society. However, once I began living as a person with disabilities, I realized just how much of our social expectations are based on an able-bodied perspective. Living with a disability made daily tasks—working, going out, handling routines—far more challenging. Despite these challenges, society’s expectations of “normal” did not adjust for me. I felt like society’s distorted values became even clearer. That realization made me question how to live my life honestly, and it also brought sadness and frustration.

For those of us with disabilities, “living honestly with oneself” carries a different meaning than it does for the able-bodied. To many, this phrase might bring to mind ideas of expressing feelings freely or pursuing dreams openly. For someone with a disability, however, it means having the courage to say “I can’t do this” or “This is too difficult” even for everyday tasks. This honesty is no small feat, as social expectations can weigh heavily. Simple things like avoiding places without elevators or accessible entrances can be seen as “selfish,” or asking for reasonable work accommodations can sometimes be misinterpreted as “not trying hard enough.” This honesty is often met with judgment and bias, with people assuming we are self-centered or dependent.

But without this honesty, we risk losing our sense of self. For those of us with disabilities, being honest with ourselves is essential for self-preservation. When we constantly push to meet the demands of society or others, we end up breaking down our own bodies and minds. I have come to understand that listening to my inner voice—the one that says “I can’t do this,” “This is too much,” or “I want to take it slow”—is the only way to protect myself. This honesty may sometimes be seen as “laziness” or “selfishness,” but ignoring my own limits does not amount to truly “living.”

Instead of being swayed by society’s expectations or values, we need to listen to our own physical and emotional needs and find a path that allows us to live comfortably. Living with a disability involves limitations, but by facing those limitations honestly, I have begun to discover what it means to live on my own terms. It’s not about silencing myself to please others, but rather embracing my true needs and feelings in order to find a way to endure and thrive. Staying true to oneself—even when it’s challenging or lonely—is ultimately a source of strength that sustains us.

Living honestly with oneself may indeed feel isolating at times. But when society’s distorted values put pressure on us, it’s often our only choice. There may be misunderstanding, even prejudice, but by standing firm and taking care of ourselves, we can find resilience in an otherwise difficult world. Living honestly is how we protect ourselves, keep going, and ultimately, it’s what allows us to live our truest lives.