In society, there is a prevailing notion that “striving towards something” and “working hard” are always right. For a long time, I was bound by that belief, and I thought it was the norm. However, now, I’ve come to the conclusion that effort isn’t everything. In fact, living at your own pace, without pushing yourself too hard, is what truly matters.

This is just my personal opinion, but let me share a bit of my experience.

What I Lost by Trying Too Hard
As a result of pushing myself too much to live a life I chose for myself, I fell into depression. I don’t regret choosing that path, because no one forced it on me—it was a decision I made. Still, I reached my mental and physical limits, and at times, I lost sight of myself.

Effort isn’t inherently bad. Working towards a goal can certainly bring fulfillment and a sense of achievement. However, that drive can easily become excessive, leading you to sacrifice your mind and body without realizing it. I ignored my own pace, kept pushing myself to keep up with others, and that eventually led me to the depressive state I’m in today.

Is Effort a Virtue? Not Necessarily.
In Japan, there’s a deeply ingrained belief that “effort is a virtue” and “working hard is the key to success.” From school days to the workplace, we are taught to constantly strive—whether it’s to achieve better grades or to perform better at work. But this way of thinking isn’t necessarily right for everyone.

It’s perfectly okay not to push yourself when you don’t feel like it. In fact, I believe we need to spread the idea that it’s okay to not always be working toward something. Everyone has their own pace and values, yet we often feel pressured to strive for the same goals as everyone else. If this pressure becomes too strong, it can drive people beyond their limits.

Practicing Parallel Life: Valuing Multiple Paths
I’ve been practicing a lifestyle called “Parallel Life.” It’s about embracing multiple values and ways of living at once, finding a balance that feels right for you. Instead of putting all your energy into one thing, sometimes you can slow down and take a different path—and that’s okay.

Through practicing Parallel Life, I realized the importance of not overextending myself. You don’t have to constantly meet societal or external expectations. If you fixate too much on one goal, you might end up losing sight of other important things. It’s crucial to listen to your body and mind when they tell you, “I’m tired.”

The Importance of Being Kind to Yourself
When you free yourself from the notion that “you must work hard,” you can start being kind to yourself. This doesn’t mean you’re lazy, it means you’re taking care of yourself. Rather than losing yourself in constant striving, sometimes you need to stop, take a deep breath, and reassess your surroundings.

You might feel, “Others are working hard, but I’m not achieving anything.” But don’t let that feeling crush you. Everyone moves at their own pace and has their own goals. That’s why it’s so important to reflect on what you truly value, and respect your own rhythm as you live your life.

Choosing Not to Try Too Hard is Also Valuable
What I’ve come to realize through my own experience is that choosing not to push yourself can be valuable too. Constantly forcing results isn’t always the best way forward. Sometimes, simply “living in the moment” is enough. There’s no shame in that, and in fact, you should embrace it.

To those who tend to overextend themselves, I want to say: it’s okay not to try so hard. Life isn’t just about pushing forward relentlessly. Sometimes, taking a step back and listening to your inner voice will help you discover new paths.

Conclusion
I hope this personal opinion resonates with someone out there. Effort and hard work aren’t everything. Living at your own pace and taking care of yourself is what leads to true “richness” and “happiness” in life. Moving forward, I plan to continue practicing Parallel Life, taking it slow, without overextending myself, and treating myself with kindness.

Please, be kind to yourself too. Don’t be afraid to choose the path that feels less pressured. That, too, is a wonderful way to live.

If this message resonates with you in any way, I would be so grateful if you shared it. It might help someone realize the importance of living at their own pace, without overextending themselves.