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From the perspective of a mid-life severely disabled person, this blog shares heartfelt reflections on supporting children with cancer. Through facing the unknown, we explore what it truly means to stay by someone’s side—beyond words, beyond understanding.

Introduction | If You’re Feeling Unsure About Supporting Others

“I want to support children with cancer, but I don’t know how to approach it.”
“I’m a person with a severe disability. Can I really be of help?”

If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone.

As someone who became severely disabled later in life,
I have continued to donate and volunteer as a counselor for children with cancer.

Yet through these encounters, I realized something profound:

It is precisely because we do not fully understand each other that we can truly reach out.

In this article, I will share:

How facing the “unknowable” shaped my approach to supporting children with cancer
What it means to “stay with” someone from the perspective of a severely disabled person

I hope this story offers you a quiet source of courage when you face the unknown in your own life.

[H2] Living as a Severely Disabled Person: The Limits of Understanding Pain

At one time, I thought I understood pain.
After suddenly losing my mobility, my job, and even my sense of self,
I believed that I could deeply empathize with anyone suffering.

But when I stood before children fighting cancer,
that confidence shattered.

Their pain was something different—
something transparent, quiet, and yet overwhelmingly strong.

Pain often hides not in screams, but in silent smiles.
This is what I learned.

[H2] The Invisible Pain I Encountered in Pediatric Cancer Wards

Every time I walk down the hospital hallway, I carry a small prayer:
“Please, let today be a gentle day.”

But reality often defies such prayers.

A little girl smiles brightly, even after losing her hair and strength.
A small boy says, “I’m okay, Mom,” even after hearing the devastating results.

I could only nod.
I could only listen.

They already know—
the fear that adults dare not speak aloud.

And yet, they still choose to smile.

[H2] Embracing “Not Understanding” as the True Form of Support

Support is not about fixing problems.
Nor is it about offering clever words.

True support is about this:

Having the courage to stay, even when you don’t understand.

Even if you can’t solve anything
Even if you can’t find the right words
Even if you feel helpless

Still, you stay.
Still, you offer your presence.

You quietly affirm:

“I see your pain. I am here.”

Staying with someone in their unknown world—this is the deepest form of love.

[H2] A Supporter and a Lifelong Learner

Through supporting these children,
I learned more about life than I ever gave.

Life is about seeking light even after knowing darkness.
Smiling is a way to send love beyond pain.
Facing another person means accepting your own helplessness—and still not looking away.

I am not here to teach.
I am not here to save.

I am simply here to learn, to cry, and to laugh alongside them.

That, I believe, is true support.