What factors contributed to me growing into such a person?

I received these questions recently, so today, I’d like to share the parenting I received and how I raised my own child based on that experience.

1. Not Answering Right Away
Children’s curiosity is truly limitless.

And of course, children ask their moms lots of questions, right?

“What’s that?” “What’s this?” “Why can’t I run in the store?” The questions keep coming one after another.

It can be exhausting, especially when you’re busy.

Moms who are serious and always want to fully engage with their kids are amazing, but it can wear you down.

I understand how some moms can feel irritated and say, “Later” or “Be quiet.”

But I have a suggestion for how to handle this situation—a method that will positively affect your child’s growth and make things a little easier for you. It’s not the perfect solution, though.

The ideal way would be to engage with your child until they’re satisfied—to enjoy the moment, explore together, and share smiles.

But that’s not realistic for many of us, right?

So, here’s a way to avoid snapping at your child or saying “later” out of frustration.

It’s really simple—I used to do this with my daughter.

All you need to do is ask, “What do you think?” instead of giving an answer right away.

It’s like playing catch—just throw the ball back to them.

For example, when your child asks, “Why can’t I run in the store?” you simply respond with, “What do you think?”

Children are more capable of thinking things through than we often imagine.

My daughter’s answer, about 10 minutes later, was, “Because mom will get mad.”

As an adult, you might want to say that’s the wrong answer. But since the child worked hard to come up with that response, it’s important to accept it.

I said, “That’s good thinking! You don’t want mom to get mad, right?” I acknowledged her thought process.

Then I added, “If you run and bump into something, it’ll hurt, won’t it? And if you bump into someone else, both of you will get hurt, and that would make dad sad. So please don’t run in the store.”

I didn’t say “Don’t run,” or tell her the “correct” answer. Instead, I communicated my feelings, explaining that getting hurt would make dad sad.

While it’s important for children to learn social rules, I wanted to focus on emotions. This was the kind of communication I aimed for.

It helps develop a child’s thinking ability, maintains their self-esteem, and makes things easier for the parent too.

2. Nurturing Curiosity and Encouraging a Love of Challenges
There’s a field of study called cognitive-behavioral science, and I applied some of its findings to parenting.

This method dramatically increases the chances that a child will grow into someone who loves challenges.

The method is very simple.

Here’s how you can foster your child’s spirit of challenge and amplify it.

Steps:
When your child comes home from school, daycare, or kindergarten, ask them, “Did anything go wrong today?”

If they share a failure with you, for example, “I couldn’t do this very well,” respond like this:

Say, “You tried really hard to do it, didn’t you? That’s amazing. I’m rooting for you, so let’s try again next time!” Praise their effort and the fact that they took on the challenge.

Repeat this every day. If there are no failures to report, don’t push them to challenge themselves more. Instead, ask, “What fun thing happened today?” and let them talk about something positive.

When talking to your child, stop what you’re doing, even if you’re busy with housework.

It would irritate you if your husband listened to you while looking at his phone, right?

It might seem like housework and looking at a phone are different, but from the child’s perspective, it’s the same.

This method increases the likelihood of raising a child who loves to take on challenges, but of course, every child is different. So, I have an additional, more powerful method to share.

That is, “Show your child how much fun you have when you take on challenges!”

This is the most effective method.

These are all things my mother did for me, and they formed the foundation of my own parenting philosophy.

Let me know if you’d like any adjustments!